The Space Harpoon – Philae Lands on a Comet

On November 17, 2014November 19, 2014 By The Boozy NewsieIn OriginalsLeave a comment

While we haven’t heard from the probe for some time, it’s still an important thing that we put a probe on a comet! Little old Philae, who is incommunicado at the moment, launched off of Rosetta and landed on a comet on the 12th, though it had some trouble. Because the main way it was supposed to attach was by using harpoons. HARPOONS!

Hence, this drink, which is based on a random recipe I found for grog, which they would have drank on whaling trips back in the day. Maybe. I have no idea. Note: I’m trying to do one every day this week, so this is the first of a bunch! Enjoy.

The Space Harpoon

1.5 oz rum (you probably want to use dark rum, but I was out)
3 oz water plus more for boiling raisins (see below)
about two tablespoons of raisins
1 tsp dark brown sugar
juice of one half lime (my limes are a bit small, so it might be a little less than that

This one uses a made up technique I call “boiling raisins.” Put the raisins in a small saucepan and cover them with water, barely. Then boil them for a while until the water looks kinda brownish. Let it cool, and pour it into the bottom of a glass (there should be around 1 tablespoon left, at least there was for me). Put the rest of the ingredients in (along with most or all of the raisins), stir, and enjoy! You can garnish with a lime slice if you like.

Tasting Notes:

BN: I liked this, mostly. It was a little watered down, which is fair because it had plain water in it, but it was easy to drink and had enough flavor to make it work. There was a bitter aftertaste that showed up partway through drinking it, but then it went away. Not sure what that was? In any case, the raisin and lime and sugar all worked really well together. I bet it would be even better with dark rum.

PiC: Although I was warned that this was odd before tasting it, I actually really liked it – it combined sour and sweet, which as a diehard Sour Patch Kids addict I am a steadfast fan of (though note that this does NOT taste like Sour Patch Kids). The raisins were kind of gross looking, but the taste was yummy.

The Autumn Mix – Halloween

On October 30, 2014October 31, 2014 By The Boozy NewsieIn OriginalsLeave a comment

My favorite candy is, shockingly, candy corn. Well, maybe not my favorite. But at least the one that I find most addicting. In any case, I like it so much that I thought I should make a drink out of it. In honor of Halloween, I made some candy corn vodka out of, you guessed it, candy corn and vodka (recipe below). It was bright orange, and not actually all that sweet (surprising, given that the beet vodka I made a year or two ago was super sweet, and yet this was made out of pure sugar), but it certainly tasted like alcoholic candy corn.

I made a drink, tried it out, and then thought — well, one just isn’t enough. The only thing that vodka is good for (at least the easiest thing) is shots, and it seems lame to write a post about only a single shot. So, I made three! I mostly did them for looks, not taste, and although two turned out surprisingly well, the third was terrible. I’ll still put the recipe here, but word to the wise — skip the Pumpkin. It’s disgusting. But, it does look cool.

Here is the autumn mix. I took a bag of good old mixed candy corn (not as good as the original standby, but hey) and made a drink for each one. Enjoy! (Except, again, the Pumpkin. Don’t enjoy that.) Note: these measurements will all be in “parts” instead of actual ounces, etc., because they’re shots, and it’s up to you how big you want them to be. Most of it’s pretty easy to tell by looks, anyway.

The Autumn Mix

Candy Corn Vodka (stolen from various places on the internet)

1 part candy corn
3 parts cheap vodka

Combine ingredients in a sealable glass container. Close it up and shake it a little, just to loosen the corn. Let sit for anywhere from 3-4 hours to a couple days, but really you just need to wait until all the candy corn dissolves. Strain any remaining bits out and store — it’s ready to drink!

The Bad Seed

1 part candy corn vodka
1 part dark beer (a stout or a porter, something thick and chocolatey/coffee-flavored. I used Guinness but would have liked something a little thicker)

Pour the vodka into the bottom of a shot glass, half way up. Pour the beer in slowly over the back of a spoon. This is super important to do for layering, and we’ll be using this technique for all three recipes. It’s pretty easy, just put the spoon as close as you can get it to the top of the liquid, and kind of dribble the new ingredient over it. I touched the spoon to one of the sides of the glass, so it fell down there too, but I’m not sure that was necessary.

The Candy Corn

1 part apple juice (I used apple “nectar” because it was thicker than normal apple juice, but ended up less yellow which was disappointing. So up to you!)
2 parts candy corn vodka
2 parts whipped cream

Pour the apple juice in first. Layer on the vodka, but go super slowly because these guys do not separate on their own. I had to try a few times before I got it right. Finally, top with whipped cream, which I thought was going to mess up the layering but it was really fine, so don’t worry about it too much.

The Pumpkin

1 part creme de menthe
4 parts candy corn vodka

These “parts” are obviously smaller than the parts above. Also, don’t make this drink. But if you do, pour in the creme de menthe first, then layer the vodka on using the technique above. Don’t worry if you mess up, this one separates out pretty quickly by itself. Final step: after you’ve finished layering, throw it in the trash.

Tasting Notes:

BN: Let’s go through these in order. The Bad Seed was my first idea, which is why it has the best name. I actually liked this a lot; the beer flavor complemented and tempered the sweetness of the vodka. A nice, easy shot. And, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t realize it looked like the chocolate candy corns in the mix until after I made it. Happy coincidence! The Candy Corn was great too, though I wish I could taste the apple a little bit more. The flavors matched, and, like the beer, the whipped cream tempered everything else and brought it together. I also wish the apple was more yellow. Come on Jumex, fix my shot for me. Finally, The Pumpkin was god-awful. But, it really did look like those little pumpkins. Even so, the creme de menthe was heavier than the vodka so I couldn’t even get the green on top. Ugh. Well, two out of three ain’t bad. And the candy corn vodka mixed overall a lot better than I thought it would, so I’m not as worried about still having a massive quantity left over.

PiC: The Bad Seed: Eh, ok. It’s not terrible as a shot but neither is it something I’d hardcore try to be drinking (cause I hardcore try to be drinking shots at all times, clearly). I’d take the Candy Corn over this, but I wouldn’t straight up run from this (see The Pumpkin) either. The Candy Corn: My favorite. This is a great shot because it’s sweet and pretty much kills the taste of alcohol, plus it’s cute! And whipped cream is always tasty. The Pumpkin: Nope. Tastes like a combination of Robitussin and Listerine. NOPE.

Happy Halloween everyone!

The Naked Homer – Simpsons World Launches

On October 20, 2014October 21, 2014 By The Boozy NewsieIn OriginalsLeave a comment

Tomorrow is a great day for humanity. No longer must we resign ourselves to watching pirated versions of old episodes of The Simpsons online. No longer do we need to mourn the lost 4th season box set that somehow didn’t make it to California (ahem ahem). For tomorrow, we dine in Simpsons World! That’s a weird 300 reference, in case you didn’t catch it. FX and Fox are releasing a website where you can watch every Simpsons episode ever, as well as all sorts of other content. And I think it’s available to anyone with a subscription to that channel, though I’m very unclear on that at the moment (I’ll have to find out tomorrow!)

As with the Safina, the drink in my head did not quite match the drink I could create in reality. Doh! I could not find blue cotton candy to put on top, to make Marge’s hair, so I had to settle with naming it Homer. Naked. Still, it’s got donuts and beer, and what else do you need in a Simpsons drink? Obviously, the yellowness is for the Simpsons’ skin. Hence the nudity. It’s pretty simple, just a basic shandy, but I’ll take it. Enjoy!

(N.B.: The Flaming Moe has already existed for a while in real life, in various forms, so I chose to avoid it for that reason. Also it sounds horrible.)

The Naked Homer

8 oz mango juice (Because it’s yellow!)
8 oz Bud Light (Because if Duff were a real beer, it would be that.)
1 donut (Because donut.)

Mix the liquids together in a glass. Top with a donut, the best garnish ever. I cut a circle into the bottom of the donut so it would fit onto the top of the glass. In retrospect, this was a horrible idea – it fit so perfectly that the bottom went into the drink and got really gross. Just keep it as a side, maybe.

Tasting Notes:

BN: I like this! Simple, but good. Would probably be even better if, you know, the beer was actually a good beer. Still a lighter one, certainly, not a stout or anything, but something with a little more flavor. Also, you should stir it every now and then because it’s starting to separate, as I write.

PiC: I like it – it’s a good twist on a shandy and you can actually taste the beer which I didn’t think you’d be able to. It maybe could use a little bit of acidity, but it would be good with Indian food [N.B.: APU!] because it’s almost like a mango lassi.

The Kobayashi – The Usual Suspects

On August 16, 2014August 16, 2014 By The Boozy NewsieIn OriginalsLeave a comment

The regular perpetrators.

I’m out of town this week, for my brother’s wedding! So, this is a quick update from the road.

19 years ago today, The Usual Suspects was released! Last year, the Partner in Crime and I watched this, for her first time, with a friend. For that event, I made a drink (two actually, but the first was bad), and I’ve updated it and hopefully made it better for this year. It’s a little bit Japanese, but maybe not. It’s that sense of mystery that keeps it going. Just like the character in the movie! Or something.

I was alone for this one, so apologies if the camera work isn’t as good. Also, I was the only one to taste it. Might it be horrible for anyone else but me? It certainly might.

The Kobayashi

1.5 oz gin (the only one I even vaguely enjoy is Hendrick’s, but to each their own.)
1/2 tsp soy sauce (yup.)
1 tsp ginger simple syrup (gotta use it somewhere. Again, it’s from this recipe.)
1/4 oz fresh lemon juice (mine wasn’t fresh. Yours should be.)
tonic water
crystallized ginger slices (for a garnish)

Put everything except the tonic water in a rocks glass with ice. Fill up the glass with tonic, and garnish with the crystallized ginger!

Tasting Notes:

BN: This certainly had good flavors, but it was a little weird. However, I don’t really know if that was, say, the slightly flat tonic water (okay it was a little old, but I’m pretty sure it would be good with more fizz) or the fact that I don’t actually like gin… You’ll have to let me know what you guys think, because I’m not an impartial observer. Still, I think the flavors mesh well and it works overall.

PiC: I wasn’t here. I didn’t drink this. STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

Sundae Rummy Sundae – National Vanilla Ice Cream Day

On July 23, 2014July 23, 2014 By The Boozy NewsieIn Originals2 Comments

So, today is not to be confused with National Ice Cream Day, which happened on Sunday, but I’m happy for it to be confused with National Ice Cream Month, which apparently is the entirety of July. Now, I vowed that I wouldn’t do this sort of thing, pulling a random “holiday” that no one has ever heard of off of a marketing calendar, but when you look at the news these days, I think it’s understandable. I don’t want to make light of any of the numerous terrible situations occurring right now, so, instead, ice cream! And a pun about a massacre. But, you know, it’s an old massacre. Ish.

I didn’t want to make a simple float, or anything involving actual ice cream, so I tried to go for something that tasted like it without actually having the real thing. And this is what I came up with, for better or for worse. It’s frothy, it’s vanilla-y, and it looks kind of like a milkshake. I will say up front that this wasn’t my most successful drink, but with some alterations I think it could be pretty good.

Sundae Rummy Sundae

2 oz gold rum (You might want to try dark rum — would add an interesting sweetness)
1 oz heavy cream
1 egg white
1/2 oz ginger simple syrup (I got the recipe from this: Bon Appetit Beetnik Martini)
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
club soda or seltzer (I used the former, because I don’t like the latter, but I think seltzer would have been a better choice for its acid)

The only trick to this recipe is the egg white, which I learned, from my partner in crime, is easy enough to separate from the yolk just by slooping (yes, I’m making that a word) the yolk back and forth between the shell halves of a cracked egg until all the white falls into a bowl. If you are worried about salmonella, I suppose that is valid, but I haven’t died yet so it’s probably okay?

Anyways, pour all the ingredients except for the club soda into a cocktail shaker over ice. Shake it for five minutes. Yep, five minutes. You might want to wrap a tea towel around the shaker to spare your hands from a lot of pain. Or switch off. Or both! Get it shaken.

When the timer rings, strain the mixture about two-thirds of the way up a tall glass, and fill up the rest of the glass with club soda. Sprinkle some cinnamon on top, and you should be all set.

Tasting Notes:

BN: As I said before, this wasn’t my favorite. I loved the way it looked and the texture of it, but the taste wasn’t quite there — it needed more ginger, more cinnamon, and just generally more of something that wasn’t rum or vanilla. But, if you stick a little more of those things in there, I think it has a lot of potential. And, it really felt like a milkshake without being one, so that was pretty cool. It also slowly separated, which was fun to watch — but it really means you should drink it quickly.

PiC: I like it! It could use a little more flavor, I think. But generally I think your signature is that your drinks taste like they have alcohol in them.